Test of Faith

 

If you haven't heard what was happening in Palestine today, you must be not living at all! Either you are in a coma or you are really really ignorant. Here, I'm not going to write about what happened since it is all over the media. What I am going to write here is my very own test of faith. The Palestinians' faith must be on a totally different level than mine, way above.. Why am I saying this? Because (I am ashamed to admit it here), even when the smallest, trivial trial such as losing my stuffs, I would complain to Allah and question, why this is happening to me... Very bad, right?! But the Palestinians, they never complained, they accepted their trials and with every trials they encountered, their faiths grow...

While looking at the situation in Palestine, I question Allah (another moment that I am not proud of), why doesn't Allah destroy all the zionist? Who am I to question the Wisdom of the Almighty, One and Only! Ya Allah, please forgive me for my ignorant, my lack of faith, my doubt... And guess what? On the same day, I raised this question I encountered this tafsir in the Holy Quran;

So when you meet the disbelievers in battle, strike their necks until you have thoroughly subdued them, then bind them firmly. Later free them either as an act of grace or by ransom until the war comes to an end. So will it be. Had Allah willed, He Himself could have inflicted punishment on them. But He does this only to test some of you by means of others. And those who are martyred in the cause of Allah, He will never render their deeds void (Surah Muhammad 47:4)

I cried... Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah, for the immediate and direct answer You give me! Again, forgive me for all my sins... Indeed, You are The All Knowing an The All Compelling and I am just Your lowly servant... I think that is all for this entry... Please pray for our brothers and sisters in Palestine... May Allah help and protect the people of Palestine, ease their pain and suffering, bestow His mercy on them and open people's hearts to give in this time of crisis...

ps: this is not the first time and I am very sure (and hoping) that this will not be the last time that Allah answers my questions directly through the Quran... Thank you Allah for your guidance... “Our Lord, let not our hearts deviate after You have guided us and grant us from Yourself mercy" (Surah Ali'Imran 3:8) 

Dream of Swimming With Frogs

 

Trust me, this is one dream I would glad to forget! Frog is certainly not on my top list of beloved things. It is on the top list of my hated things instead. I don't really hate frog actually... It just, seeing them made me squeamish. I don't like their skin... Once I accidentally touch one with my bare hand. It happened maybe when I was 11 years old. I was ready getting to go to school in the morning. I was putting on my shoes but couldn't to put my foot all the way through. my first thought was one of my older sibling was playing trick on me, putting something in my shoes. So, I reached inside my shoes to pull the thing out! And as soon as I realized that it was a frog, I screamed and threw my shoe away! The frog came out and hopped away, probably shocked! 

Okay, let's get back to my dream. Trust me, it was an unpleasant one. I was swimming (mind you, that I couldn't swim in real life) in this beautiful clear water pond with water lilies floating around peacefully. Suddenly, an army (I googled collective term for frogs for first I wrote 'swarm', haha..) of frogs jumped into the pond and started swimming around me. They are not cute at all, not like the character keroppi! One particular frog, the largest one (maybe the size of a chicken) kept following around.. In my dreams, I couldn't get away from them. That's all I can remember.

Knowing me, I googled the interpretation of this dream. So, these are some of the interpretations I found on the net;

• Having a dream of seeing many frogs is a promising sign, especially for those who are in love. It means success and fulfillment in your personal life. This could also symbolize being in the company of wonderful, trusted and loving friends or getting the support of your loved ones. In the area of business, it could mean prosperity and outstanding achievements in all your endeavors. (Source: Tell Me My Dream)
• Dream about both “Swimming” and “Frog” is a portent for a loss in your personal identity. There is a situation where you are seeking acceptance and wanting to be a part of. You are overcoming your negative feelings. Your dream is sadly a warning for a lack of communication. You may be inexperienced, nervous or just unable to keep up Source: Dreams'opedia)
• To dream of frogs swimming could mean that you are going through a period of change or embarking on a transition. Swimming frogs can signal uncertainty in life as they try to navigate a new environment or situation. However, the dream can also carry a positive message and symbolize adaptability, the ability to thrive in an unfamiliar environment. (Source: Tabir.App)
• Dream about frogs can be interpreted as messages from our subconscious that relate to facts or situations from our waking lives. Frogs are generally seen at the opposite end of the cute scale than puppies, indeed not too far away from spiders. As such, many people are repulsed by their large bulging eyes and cold moist skin. However, in the esoteric world of dream interpretation, these little creatures are seen in a positive light – usually related to prosperity, good news, financial success, and perhaps most importantly happiness (Source: Dreams Limited)
• Dream of swimming frogs symbolises that if it is a trip or an appetizing plan, organize it with tranquility and without oppression. The more you think about it, the less clear you will see. You need to take responsibility and control of your own life. Someone will give you a hand so that you can successfully conclude a project. If you don’t have time, rework your priorities, but don’t fail to give him what he asks (Source: World O’ Dreams)

Let me clarify something here, yes i love to know the meaning behind my dreams. It is mostly just for fun. I never did totally believe in them even though I couldn't deny that sometimes it is related to my situation. As a Muslim, I believe in making my own path/living my life without relying on this sort of things. I believe in qadha' and qadar.  That's all for today, until later...Tschuss...

Oh My Goodness!

OMG! It's been more than a year I haven't write anything here! Almost every single year, I vow to myself that I'll write at least an entry a month and every single year I broke the vow! There are actually a lot of things that I want to share here. Saying I don't have enough time would be a lie, since I do actually have a lot of free times. But I think, what hinder me from updating is I rarely opened my laptop lately. Before this, I usually open my laptop since I had to do a lot of university things (assignments, quizzes etc). Since, I am only left with my final thesis, I am ashamed to admit, I rarely did anything.

What is the progress of my thesis, you ask? Nada... Null... Zilch.... No progress whatsoever, huhu... It's like I'm stuck in this procrastination mode and couldn't get myself out. I would say, okay, I'l start next month and this has keep on going for more than three years! Honestly, if you ask me, I would love to give up and stop for good. But thinking back on all those efforts, money and time, I try to motivate myself to finish since I am only left with this final hurdle.

I want to blame this on the pandemic. But, by looking deep within myself, I know that I have only myself to blame. I know I just need to start and everything will eventually fall into place. I don't know where to start. I'm stuck on methodology, I'm stuck on theory, I'm stuck with my unanalyzed data. But STILL I know that these are all excuses... I really need to start and stop making these excuses... So, ya Allah, please give me strength and guidance for me to finish my master... Thank you, Allah... I think this is all for now... And please, I you read this, please made dua for me... Thank you, may Allah repay your kindness...