Just A Little Something

I just feel the urge to write something, anything but with a little catch... What's the catch? I don't want many people to read it.. Why? Because what I am going to write is just something I feel at the current moment.. It may change the next minute, who knows.. And surely only Allah knows.. 😊

So, what am I feeling right now? I am feeling that I am unworthy of romantic love.. By romantic, I meant love between a man and a woman with the intention of getting married to one another. Honestly, I always wanted to have this kind of love.. But, unfortunately, I am so unlucky in this area..

I am surrounded by family and friends who love me for me and of course I love them back, sincerely and 'lillahi ta'ala'.. But I never experienced 'romantic love.' Okay, I did date briefly, very briefly in Germany.. Reason? FOMO.. And I felt guilty to my ex at that time.. If felt that I am just using him.. I am sorry.. And I think he understood.. How briefly? Less than a month, huhu..

I don't know why, but I always have this view on romance. If I want to date someone, that someone must be my husband. How to explain? I only date with the intention of marriage. No playing around. In my mind, I only want to date around three months, get to know each other, ta'aruf and then, marry. I prefer love after marriage.. I want to do it the right way, way according to Islam.. I need to study more in this actually..

So, I just stop here because I the urge to write is no more, huhu.. It's already midnight and I need my beauty sleep.. For those who read this (I don't think there is, haha), forgive me for blabbing nonsense.. Good nite all, sweet dreams... 💤❤️

L. O. N. E. L. I. N. E. S. S.

 

George Orwell once said: The most terrible loneliness is not the kind that comes from being alone, but the kind that comes from being misunderstood; the loneliness of standing in a crowded room, surrounded by people who do not see you, who do not hear you, who do not know the true essence of who you are. And in that loneliness, you feel as though you are fading, disappearing into the background, until you are nothing more than a ghost, a shadow of your former self.

It’s that soul-deep ache of being surrounded by people—friends, family, colleagues—yet feeling completely invisible. You may smile, nod, and go through the motions, but inside, you feel a sense of isolation that words can’t fully capture. You feel as though no one truly gets you, as if the truest parts of you are hidden, left unrecognized, while the world only acknowledges the version of you that fits in.

This kind of loneliness hits hard because it isn’t about the absence of people; it’s about the absence of connection. You crave to be seen for who you really are, to have someone understand your soul’s language, your quirks, your dreams, and the complexities of your heart. But when you’re misunderstood, it feels as if there’s an unbridgeable gap between your inner world and the outside one. It’s like standing behind a glass wall, desperately hoping someone will look through and truly *see* you, only to realize they’re gazing right past you.

In that space of feeling unknown, you start to question yourself. You wonder if you should change, if you should become what the world expects or desires, just to feel a hint of acceptance. But even then, the loneliness doesn’t vanish; it only grows. Because the deeper tragedy is the slow fading of your own essence, the parts of you that you start to hide or let go of, simply to belong. You become a shadow, a ghost of the vibrant self you once were, drifting silently, holding onto the hope that one day, someone might understand.

What makes this kind of loneliness so painful is that it’s not just the longing to be loved—it’s the longing to be known, and loved *for* being known. For someone to look at the parts of you that are messy, complicated, and even broken, and to say, “I see you. I understand. And I’m here.” It’s the yearning for someone to hear your heart’s quietest whispers and to feel the depths of your soul without judgment or expectation.

Yet, even in that terrible loneliness, there’s a quiet strength. There’s a resilience in holding onto your essence, even when it feels invisible. There’s courage in keeping your light alive, in refusing to let the world’s misunderstanding extinguish the fire within you. You may feel unseen, but the truth is, your uniqueness, your complexity, is what makes you extraordinary. Somewhere, someone will value that. And until then, you can value that.

Sometimes, the journey through being misunderstood leads to a deeper understanding of yourself. It teaches you to embrace who you are, even if the world isn’t ready to. It invites you to find peace in your own company, to nurture the parts of yourself that feel lonely and unacknowledged. And, in time, you may discover that the right connections—the ones that see you, hear you, and know you—come when you least expect them.

So, hold on. Keep your essence alive. Refuse to become a shadow, even if that means standing alone for a while. Your true self deserves to be celebrated, and though the wait may feel long, the beauty of being fully known is worth every moment. Your people—the ones who truly understand your soul—are out there, and when they find you, the terrible loneliness will start to fade. You’ll realize that your essence was never meant to be hidden. It was always meant to shine.

-

What would it mean to you to feel truly known and understood by someone?

🌐Source: FB [English Literature] 

G. A. S. L. I. G. H. T.

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where a person seeks to sow seeds of doubt in a targeted individual or in members of a targeted group, making them question their own memory, perception, and sanity. It attempts to destabilize the victim and delegitimize the victim's concerns or complaints.

Here's how it works:

Denial: The gaslighter denies things they said or did, even when there is evidence.

Countering: The gaslighter contradicts the victim's words and makes them question their own memories.

Trivialization: The gaslighter dismisses the victim's feelings and makes them seem unimportant or insignificant.

Diversion: The gaslighter changes the subject or brings up other issues to avoid taking responsibility.

Withholding: The gaslighter withholds affection, support, or information to manipulate the victim.

Effects of Gaslighting:

Self-doubt: Victims may start to question their own judgment and sanity.

Confusion: Constant contradictions can leave victims feeling disoriented and confused.

Low self-esteem: Victims may feel worthless and insignificant.

Anxiety and depression: The stress and emotional turmoil of gaslighting can lead to mental health issues.

Isolation: Victims may withdraw from friends and family due to the gaslighter's manipulation.

If you suspect you are being gaslighted, it's important to reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or therapist for support.

🌐 Reference:

• https://askanydifference.com/difference-between-gaslighting-and-negging/
• https://parkswatchscotland.co.uk/2020/01/02/corporate-gaslighting-why-we-did-nothing-as-skiing-died-at-cairn-gorm/

Important Dates 2025

 

Self Love 💚

 

“Self-love is an ocean and your heart is a vessel. Make it full, and any excess will spill over into the lives of the people you hold dear. But you must come first.” - Beau Taplin

Here are some ways to practice self-love in Islam:

💚 Be honest with yourself: Be honest about your feelings and what you can handle. Don't beat yourself up when things go wrong, but instead reflect on what you can improve. 

💚 Respect yourself: Respect yourself for who you are, despite your faults and shortcomings. 

💚 Trust in Allah: Trust in Allah and rely on him. This can lead to more self-confidence. 

💚 Practice zikir: Zikir is a practice of remembering Allah through prayer and expressions of gratitude. This can help you feel more peaceful and at ease. 

💚 Make time for self-care: Take time for quiet meditation or reflection to bring you closer to Allah. 

💚 Recognize internal beauty: Beauty is more than just physical appearance. It's about your character and attitude.

Nine Tips to Stay Khushu' During Solah

REMINDER 

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

Concentration In Solah Is A Pillar To Perfect Our Solah.

1. Before standing up for Prayer, try to deal with all the minor urgent matters that demand your attention. If you are pressed by hunger, eat first; if you are pressed to attend to the call of nature, relieve yourself first; if you are the parent of an infant, feed him or her, or keep him or her busy so the child will not distract you.  

2. Perform your wudhu’ (ablution) well, paying due care and attention, stop talking while performing ablution. 

3. Approach the Prayer with zest and passion as if it is the last prayer in your life before dying, it could very be as none of us is given a guarantee of being alive till the next solah. The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) taught us that we could do nothing in this world that could ever surpass Prayer in merit and excellence.  

4. Visualize that in your Prayer you are going to have a special audience with ALLAH, Lord of the worlds, and that you are enjoying a direct communion with HIM, which is very true.  

5. Picture the scene of the Last Day when people will be lined up into two groups, one destined for Heaven, and another for Hell, and ask yourself where you would be placed. 

6. Focus your mind on what you are reading in your Prayer and recite simple surahs that you understand their meaning and ponder on the meaning while you recite.  

7. If, despite your best efforts, your mind is still wandering, seek refuge in ALLAH 

8. Pray to ALLAH and beg HIM to grant you true the joy of concentrating on your Prayer and protection against the wanderings of your mind. 

9. Place your eyesight to the one spot where you will be making your sujud while you recite and avoid taking your eyes from that sport. Remember always that you are standing in front of ALLAH the Mighty offering such solah hoping for HIM to accept from you. 

With the above, insyaAllah we can defeat shaiton in offering our solah properly. May ALLAH (Al-Muhaimin, The Protector) protect us from the tricks of shaiton during prayers and forgive us our mistakes. Aameen Ya Mujeeb

💙Source: Facebook Page (Muslim Best Lectures) 

Someone to Love

You are going to meet someone someday who will make you realize that you are not hard to love. You will no lionger have to beg for love because he will give you the love that you always deserve without asking for anything in return. He will be there to remind you that you deserve to be loved genuinely and to be treated right. You are going to meet someone someday who will make you realize that there is nothing wrong about you. He will make you feel enough, and he will always value your feelings. I hope one day you'll also learn to see your worth. I hope you realize that you do not need to settle for less.

You are going to meet someone someday who will make you feel worthy of everything that the world has to offer. He will do his best to give you everything that you deserve, and he will protect you from anything that could hurt you. He will do everything just to make you happy, and he will always be there whenever you feel unhappy. He will never make you feel alone. You are going to meet someone someday who is faithful to his words and promises. He will do everything to protect your heart, and he will be afraid to hurt you. I hope you know that you deserve someone who can love you with all his heart. You deserve someone who will make you feel like you are one of a kind.

Someday, you are going to meet someone who can match the love that you are willing to offer. I hope you know that you do not deserve to waste your love on someone who will never see your worth.

💙 Source: Facebook (Muslimah Angel) 

Excellence in Character

 

حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ سَلاَمٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ إِدْرِيسَ قَالَ‏: ‏ سَمِعْتُ أَبِي يُحَدِّثُ عَنْ جَدِّي، عَنْ أَبِي هُرَيْرَةَ‏: ‏ سُئِلَ رَسُولُ اللهِ صلى الله عليه وسلم‏: ‏ مَا أَكْثَرُ مَا يُدْخِلُ الْجَنَّةَ‏؟‏ قَالَ‏: ‏ تَقْوَى اللهِ، وَحُسْنُ الْخُلُقِ، قَالَ‏: ‏ وَمَا أَكْثَرُ مَا يُدْخِلُ النَّارَ‏؟‏ قَالَ‏: ‏ الأَجْوَفَانِ‏: ‏ الْفَمُ وَالْفَرْجُ‏.‏

Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, "What is the most frequent reason for someone entering Paradise?" He said, "Taqwa and good character. He was asked, "What is the most frequent reason for people entering the Hellfire?" He replied, "The two empty ones: the mouth and the genitals."

[Al-Adab Al-Mufrad]

https://sunnah.com/urn/2302920

PAPER CUT 📄✂️

 

paper cut (plural paper cuts): a wound caused by a piece of paper or any thin, sharp material which can slice through a person's skin

Did you know that SKIN is the largest organ of our body. The skin is made up of three main layers: the epidermis, dermis and subcutis.

These paper cuts that I keep on getting (I don't know why, but I get these easily, maybe my skin is thin compared to others 😅), they hurt. Even they were small, they still hurt.

It was recently discovered that the brain does not act as a pain receptor felt by the body but the skin. And could we imagine what it felt when all of our skin is burnt completely? 

🌹 Surely those who reject Our signs, We will cast them into the Fire. Whenever their skin is burnt completely, We will replace it so they will ˹constantly˺ taste the punishment. Indeed, Allah is Almighty, All-Wise (Surah  An-Nisa 4:56)

This verse explained that the time will come when people who reject the religion of Allah will be put into hell and tortured in the form of skin changes. when evidenced by the very combustion process, the sensory nerve endings will be damaged.

This results in the skin no longer being able to receive stimulation. Therefore, in hell Allah replaces the skin of the inhabitants of hell with a new skin which is intended to renew sensory nerve endings so that they feel the torments of hell again.

Yet, we still sin and unafraid of the consequences in the Hereafter. We could not help it. We just being human, that is our nature. We err, we make mistakes. We could not avoid it. We are imperfect. In fact, nothing in this world is perfect.  Only Allah is As-Subbooh, The Perfect, The Supremely Glorified.

So, what should we do? It is obvious isn't it? We repent, we ask Allah for forgiveness. No matter how much we sin, never stop asking Allah for forgiveness. Do remember this lovely Quran's verse;

🌹 Say, ˹O Prophet, that Allah says,˺ “O My servants who have exceeded the limits against their souls! Do not lose hope in Allah’s mercy, for Allah certainly forgives all sins.He is indeed the All-Forgiving, Most Merciful (Surah Az-Zumar 39:53)

So, never ever lose hope. Try our best to become the best Muslim version of ourselves. As long as we remember Allah, He will remember us and guide us to the right path.

 🌹 إِنَّ هُدَى ٱللَّهِ هُوَ ٱلۡهُدَىٰۖ

Indeed, the guidance of Allah is the [only] guidance (Surah Al-An'am 6:71)

🌹 فَٱذْكُرُونِىٓ أَذْكُرْكُمْ وَٱشْكُرُوا۟ لِى وَلَا تَكْفُرُونِ

remember Me; I will remember you. And thank Me, and never be ungrateful (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:152)

References:

    1. The Holy Quran

    2.Journal - Skin as a Pain Receptor  

#SelfReminder 🥰

#QuranVerseOfTheDay 🌹

ps: yup, I got those three cuts on the same day... 😭 Normal occurrence for me, so I would always have plasters on standby...Ooo, I didn't read the whole journal btw, just the abstract.. 😂

♥️ SAYING I LOVE YOU ❤️

 

Why is it hard saying 'I LOVE YOU' to the ones that really matter? Well, in my case lah... Maybe it is because of our eastern culture... 🤔 For the westerners have no or little problem saying these three words out loud.. 

Seriously though, how many times have we told our parents, we love them? Verbally, I mean... And yes, I know ACTIONS SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS.. But, sometimes, we do need verbal affirmation (again in my case lah, I don't know about you guys, huhu.. 😬)And to our siblings as well... 

Surprisingly, I have no problem saying 'I LOVE YOU' to my niblings a.k.a the younger generations. Maybe because, they started saying it first, and I reply and it became easier expressing them after that.. (I LOVE YOU ALL MY LOVELY NIBLINGS, YES ALL 14 OF YOU!!!) 

And I think, they have no problem expressing their love verbally because they live in a different era than us (world without border, with access to technology and all.. 🌍) and are heavily influenced by other cultures (positively in this case)... 

And to our besties.. How many times have we told them, we love them verbally? I have no problem writing 'I LOVE YOU' in messages but saying them is still awkward.. 😅 Saying them straight by looking at them in their face/eyes is much harder..

I started saying, 'I LOVE YOU' when I ended my phone conversation to a selected few (you know who you are and thank you for replying I LOVE YOU TOO each and single time 🥰) and it became easier, same case with my niblings..

I have no problem saying 'I LOVE YOU' out loud to plants, flowers, and other inanimate objects, haha.. Maybe because I know they are unable to reply. If I'm saying them to people, I'm afraid that they won't feel the same (oh again, with the insecurities.. 🥹) and won't give a positive reply..

Anyways, this week is actually World Suicide Prevention Week and World Suicide Prevention Day is on 10th September each year. Just want to remind each other, that taking good care of our mental health is very important... 

And one way of taking care of it is by spreading love, positive love, not perverted love, toxic love and such.. So, start saying I LOVE YOU to people that really matters out loud! See their reactions! Do it before it is too late...

Oh, do say, YOU LOVE YOU as well, for in order for us to love others, we must first love ourselves!!! Self love and self care are never selfish.. Spread LOVE, not HATE!!! ♥️♥️♥️

Oh, and one more important thing, do you know who really loves us? It is none other than our One and Only Creator, Allah SWT!

Narrated Anas:

The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "My Lord says, 'If My slave comes nearer to me for a span, I go nearer to him for a cubit; and if he comes nearer to Me for a cubit, I go nearer to him for the span of outstretched arms; and if he comes to Me walking, I go to him running." (Sahih al-Bukhari 7536)

*ps: last but not least, thank you for reading this lengthy post till the end.. To all 'my people' (again, you know who you are), I LOVE YOU TILL JANNAH, insyaAllah and thank you for loving me all these times.. Thank you for putting up with my ups and downs (I know I am full of them, haha..😂)

*pps: picture included is the picture of my beloved parents.. I LOVE BOTH OF YOU with all my heart and soul, to the moon and back, till Jannah... 

#SelfReminder ☺️

#EemaTrainOfThoughts 💭

#PutYourFaithInAllah 🪻

#WorldSuicidePrevention 🌍

#SpreadLoveNotHate 💕

#LoveThyParents 💖

#LoveThyFamily 🥰

#LoveThyself 💚

#ThankYouAllah 💐

Great Story I Found in Facebook

The mother said to her son's wife smiling after the honeymoon: You were able to make my son commit to praying in the mosque. You succeeded in thirty days, while I failed in thirty years. Her eyes filled with tears.

The son's wife replied, saying: Do you know, mother, the story of: The Stone and the Treasure?

It is said that there was a large stone blocking the way for people to pass. So a man volunteered to break it and remove it. The man tried and hit the stone with an axe 99 times, then he got tired... Then a man passed by him and asked him to help him. And indeed, the man took the axe and hit the large stone, and it split from the first blow.

The surprise was that there was a bag full of gold under the rock, so the man said: It is mine, I split the stone. So the two men argued before the judge, the first said: Give me some of the treasure, I hit the stone 99 times and then got tired, and the other said: The whole treasure is mine, I am the one who split the stone. The judge replied: The first one gets 99 parts of the treasure, and you, the one who split the stone, get one part. Oh man, if it weren't for his 99 strikes, the stone wouldn't have split a hundred times.

💚 Thirty years and the mother urges her son to pray without despair. Then she rejoices that her son prayed out of affection for his wife, even though he disobeyed her for thirty years!!

💚 Then how beautiful is the behavior of the son's wife and how great is her morals when she did not attribute the credit to herself, but rather made the mother completely confident that her efforts were not in vain and that she was the one who laid the foundation stone and built brick by brick until the last brick remained that the son's wife completed..

💚 Authentic morals, only come from a genuine person.

In Japan:

When you rent a hotel and you are a Muslim, they give you a Quran, a prayer rug, and a map that shows you the only mosque in Tokyo.

In some Islamic countries; you rent a hotel, you open the refrigerator, you find types of alcohol, and they give you a map that shows you the location of the discotheque in the hotel.

They respect our religion and we insult it!!!

A worker repairs the air conditioners of a mosque, then he refused the wages and said: My mother advised me not to take wages for work in a mosque!!

They were amazed by his mother, and I will be amazed by his piety.

One of the righteous was asked why do you go to the mosque before the call to prayer? He said: The call to prayer is to alert the heedless, and I hope I am not one of them!!

(We ask Allah for safety)..

 I asked him why do you always drink water in the mosque when you find it in your home?!!

He said: So that whoever puts it in the mosque will be rewarded

"High-class souls"

If a scandal reaches you about someone, let it stop with you; if it stops with you, you will receive the reward of covering up, and whoever covers up a Muslim, Allah will cover him up..

An old man said to one of his grandsons: My son, do you know that Paradise is free and Hell is money?The boy said: How is that, Grandpa?

 He said to him: HELL is MONEY

• Whoever gambles pays.
• Whoever drinks alcohol pays.
• Whoever smokes pays.
• Whoever travels looking for immorality pays, 

and PARASIDE, my son, is FREE.

• Whoever prays, prays for free.
• Whoever fasts, fasts for free.
• Whoever seeks forgiveness, seeks forgiveness for free.
• Whoever lowers his gaze also for free.

Do you want to pay money for Hell?

Or go to Paradise for free?

This is the beautiful saying of the elderly.

This message reached you for free, so send it for free and earn good deeds for free.

O Allah, whoever shares this message, grant him good news that will make him prostrate to Allah crying with joy. Share it for the sake of your standing with Allah.

STEREOTYPE

Please do not stereotype a certain group just because a few people in that group act inappropriately.

▪️Just because a certain people in a certain race are lazy, we simply labelled the race as a lazy race. 

▪️Just because a certain people in a certain religion are extremist, we simply labelled the religion as an extreme religion. 

▪️Just because a certain people in a certain organisation are corrupt, we simply labelled the organisation as a corrupt organisation. 

The problem is with the people, not the group. For the group to change, the people need to change first. As mentioned in the Quran;

" Verily Allah does not change a people's condition unless they change their inner selves." (Surah Ar-Ra'd 13:11)

#SelfReminder ❤️

#JustMyTwoCents 🙃

Getting Old

I don't know about you guys but here are some things that made me realize I am getting old:

1️⃣ I drive under the speed limit. 

2️⃣ People start offering me seats in crowded places which is not a bad thing at all. 

3️⃣ I tune to Mix instead of Hitz, Sinar instead of Hot and when the mood strikes, I even tune in to Klasik Nasional. 

4️⃣ I start calling others 'adik' instead of 'abang' or 'kakak'. 

5️⃣ I don't understand what the youngsters talk about these days and I sometimes cringe reading their messages because it is not spell correctly. And I mostly have to Google all their abbreviations. 

6️⃣ I don't really care about the latest gadgets or gizmos. I am content with the barest technology. As long I can call, WhatsApp, check the mainstream social medias, I am happy. 

7️⃣ I try my best to keeping up to the world news instead of celebrities' gossips and all. I am always behind with what virals or not.

8️⃣ My metabolism rate is decreasing. I gain weight easily eventhoughl the portion I ate is the same as when I was in my teenage years.

9️⃣ I am more aware of my health!

🔟 I don't really care what being said about me. Not everyone likes you and you do not like everyone as well. Like these very beautiful quotes from Saidina Ali ibn Abi Talib;

❤️ Never explain yourself to anyone, because the one who likes you would not need it, and the one dislikes you wouldn't believe it.

❤️ Hate no one, no matter how much they've wronged you. Live humbly, no matter how wealthy you become. Think positively, no matter how hard life is. Give much, even if you've been given little. Keep in touch with the ones who have forgotten you, and forgive who has wronged you, and do not stop praying for the best for those you love.

۞ ٱللَّهُ ٱلَّذِى خَلَقَكُم مِّن ضَعْفٍ ثُمَّ جَعَلَ مِنۢ بَعْدِ ضَعْفٍ قُوَّةً ثُمَّ جَعَلَ مِنۢ بَعْدِ قُوَّةٍ ضَعْفًا وَشَيْبَةً ۚ يَخْلُقُ مَا يَشَآءُ ۖ وَهُوَ ٱلْعَلِيمُ ٱلْقَدِيرُ

It is Allah Who created you in a state of weakness, then developed ˹your˺ weakness into strength, then developed ˹your˺ strength into weakness and old age (white hair) He creates whatever He wills. For He is the All-Knowing, Most Capable (Suran Ar-Rum 30:54)

Car Accident 2023

I was involved in a car accident on 28 December 2023, day after my father's birthday. That morning, I went to work as usual, left house around 6.30 am. It was drizzling. For those who doesn't know yet, I work in Muar and I live in Segamat. The journey to work takes about one and half hour. So, needless to say, in the morning, getting to the office, I speed in order to thumb in before 8 am.

That day, maybe it was because of the rain, at one of the sharp corner at Sagil, my car tumbled on the other side of the road. It happened around 7 am and in a split second. And all I could do is just let the car took it course. I was shocked and stayed inside the car. The first thing I did is calling my father, telling him I'm involved in an accident and I need him to pick me up. The second thing I did is to informing my accident to my car insurance provider, Etiqa via app.

While doing these, a few motorcyclists had already stopped by and one of them is knocking at my car window, asking me to get out. Luckily the door could still be opened from the inside an I crawled out. Alhamdulillah, I was not hurt, not even a scratch. Even the doctor who checked me (I went to a clinic after everything's settled)  was also baffled at my condition and keep on saying that surely Allah protected me. Another fortunate thing was there's no other vehicles around, just me.

Once I got out, I told the people that was kind enough to stop and help me, that I am okay and thank you for their concern. One of them went to the police station to report the accident. While all this is happening, my car engine was still on. I forgot about it, huhu... It was turned off by one of the passerby. I received a call from Etiqa, saying that a towing truck would take about two hours. I called my boss, telling him I couldn't make it to the office that day since I had an accident. I also told him, not to worry since I am fine.

A police officer arrived. He told need I need to file a report at the police station. So, I told him I am waiting for my father and made the report after he arrived. A couple of ambulances passed by and stopped asking if there was a victim. And the officer just pointed at me and saying, there, there's the victim. During this time, I was making a call to my boss. I just smiled and assured them that I am fine. One of my former colleague from Segamat stopped (since he is living in Muar and work in Segamat, we are going in different directions) when he realized that it was me. He and the other good samaritan help navigating the traffic.

My father arrived around 9am and we went to Tangkak police station, leaving the car there. I filed a report and the tow truck arrived around 10am with my car. I managed to drive home and took all the documents needed by the insurance company before the towing truck arrived. Everything was settled around 11am and we drove back to Segamat. Only then did I shared the picture of my car to my Whatsapp's status. I received a lot of calls and messages after that, all of them asking me about my condition. And one of them is my boss. He said to me, how is this fine? He thought I had a minor accident, not that my car flipped all over. I told him again that I WAS fine. It was MY CAR that was not fine...😂

I went back to work as usual the next day, using my father's car. Etiqa declared my car Was 'Beyond Economical Repair.' So, I had to buy a new car. I bought the same car model, Bezza and received it a couple of weeks before Raya. The only difference is its colour. My new car is silver instead of red. OK, that's all about my first major car accident. And I am really grateful to Allah for saving me and giving me another chance at life. I really hope I wouldn't waste the chance given. And now, let me share with you some of the dua's (prayers) I always recite before beginning a journey; 

 بِسْمِ اللَّهِ تَوَكَّلْتُ عَلَى اللَّهِ وَلا حَوْلَ وَلا قُوَّةَ إِلاَّ بِاللَّه

In the name of Allah, I trust in Allah; there is no might and no power but in Allah.

سُبْحَـٰنَ ٱلَّذِى سَخَّرَ لَنَا هَـٰذَا وَمَا كُنَّا لَهُۥ مُقْرِنِينَ وَإِنَّآ إِلَىٰ رَبِّنَا لَمُنقَلِبُونَ

"Exalted is He who has subjected this to us, and we could not have [otherwise] subdued it. And indeed we, to our Lord, will [surely] return.

بِسۡمِ ٱللَّهِ مَجۡر۪ٮٰهَا وَمُرۡسَٮٰهَآ‌ۚ إِنَّ رَبِّى لَغَفُورٌ۬ رَّحِيمٌ۬

In the name of Allāh [are] its course and its anchorage. Indeed, my Lord is Forgiving and Merciful.

بِسْمِ اللهِ الَّذِيْ لا يَضُرُّ مَعَ اسْمِهِ شَيْءٌ فِي الأَرْضِ وَلا فِي الْسَّمَاءِ وَهُوَ السَّمِيْعُ الْعَلِيْمُ

In the name of Allah, when Whose name is mentioned nothing on Earth or in Heaven can cause harm, and He is the Hearer, the Knower.

لَا حَوْلَ وَلَا قُوَّةَ إِلَّا بِاللهِ العَلِيِّ العَظِيْمِ

There is no power and no strength except with Allah

Random Post :)

*ps: if you are unfamiliar with Rumi's poems, Beloved here is our one and only God, Allah SWT...💚

S. I. N. G. L. E. H. O. O. D.

Reading back on previous entries, made me feel a bit awkward...😅 I can't believe I wrote those. Felt like somebody else was writing it. But, I could see how my writing style changes as I grew older and hopefully wiser. My early entries gave impatient, young, 'angry' vibes and my latter entries tend to be more 'slow and moderate' pace.. Okay, honestly I don't know how to describe it but I hope you get what I am trying to explain...

And seeing the gap between this and my previous entry, surely you would guess that a lot of things had happened and one of them is me performing my Hajj... Maybe, I would dedicate an entry or entries to my Hajj's journey later, insyaAllah... For in this entry, I just want to talk about my 'singlehood' status... 😆 That's why I been scrolling through my previous entries, checking whether I have talked about this.

I had, not exactly on 'singlehoodness' but romantic relationship in general or marriage specifically... During my late 20s and early 30s, people will always ask me why am I still single. And during this period of time, I would easily get irritated by them. My answer will always remain the same, 'Jodoh saya belum sampai...' or directly translated as, 'My soul mate hasn' t arrived yet... ' (guilty of using Google Translation... 😂)...

But now, in my 40s (yup, not so young anymore) or even in my late 30s, when people ask me the same question, I would answer it genuinely, without the irritation with the same answer... Becaude I deeply believe in Allah' s decree... I would be lying if I said that I am totally fine being single at this age... I am fine but not totally fine (now I am making this confusing, haha..), but I think you get what I am trying to say...

I envy my married friends, with their spouses and children. I want to experience that. I want to be a wife, I want to be a mother, I want to experience all of it... And during my lowest moment, I would question Allah, why am I still single all this time... Am I so unworthy to be loved? Am I so unfit to be a wife or a mother? Is it because of my mental illness that I still single? Is it because I am so ugly that no one wants me? Am I too outspoken that men find me unattractive? What should I do? What should I change? So many questions asked... Shameful, ain't I?

And at this moment, alhamdulillah, I will encounter verses from the Quran that lifted my spirit. And some of them are;

🌹Allāh does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:286)

🌹And whoever puts their trust in Allah, then He ˹alone˺ is sufficient for them. Certainly Allah achieves His Will. Allah has already set a destiny for everything (Surah At-Talaq 65:3)

🌹If Allah touches you with harm, none can undo it except Him. And if He intends good for you, none can withhold His bounty. He grants it to whoever He wills of His servants. And He is the All-Forgiving, Most Merciful (Surah Yunus 10:107)

🌹Whatever mercy Allah opens up for people, none can withhold it. And whatever He withholds, none but Him can release it. For He is the Almighty, All-Wise (Surah Fatir 35:2)

🌹They planned, but Allah also planned. And Allah is the best of planners (Surah Al-Anfal 8:30)

🌹O believers! Seek comfort in patience and prayer. Allah is truly with those who are patient (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:153)

So, I accept whatever Allah has planned for me. If I am destined to marry, then marry I will. But if my fate that I remained single in this worldly life, I trust Allah provides me partner in the Hereafter...❤️ Allah is the All-Knowing and All-Wise...

Important Dates 2023

 

Test of Faith

 

If you haven't heard what was happening in Palestine today, you must be not living at all! Either you are in a coma or you are really really ignorant. Here, I'm not going to write about what happened since it is all over the media. What I am going to write here is my very own test of faith. The Palestinians' faith must be on a totally different level than mine, way above.. Why am I saying this? Because (I am ashamed to admit it here), even when the smallest, trivial trial such as losing my stuffs, I would complain to Allah and question, why this is happening to me... Very bad, right?! But the Palestinians, they never complained, they accepted their trials and with every trials they encountered, their faiths grow...

While looking at the situation in Palestine, I question Allah (another moment that I am not proud of), why doesn't Allah destroy all the zionist? Who am I to question the Wisdom of the Almighty, One and Only! Ya Allah, please forgive me for my ignorant, my lack of faith, my doubt... And guess what? On the same day, I raised this question I encountered this tafsir in the Holy Quran;

So when you meet the disbelievers in battle, strike their necks until you have thoroughly subdued them, then bind them firmly. Later free them either as an act of grace or by ransom until the war comes to an end. So will it be. Had Allah willed, He Himself could have inflicted punishment on them. But He does this only to test some of you by means of others. And those who are martyred in the cause of Allah, He will never render their deeds void (Surah Muhammad 47:4)

I cried... Alhamdulillah, thank you Allah, for the immediate and direct answer You give me! Again, forgive me for all my sins... Indeed, You are The All Knowing an The All Compelling and I am just Your lowly servant... I think that is all for this entry... Please pray for our brothers and sisters in Palestine... May Allah help and protect the people of Palestine, ease their pain and suffering, bestow His mercy on them and open people's hearts to give in this time of crisis...

ps: this is not the first time and I am very sure (and hoping) that this will not be the last time that Allah answers my questions directly through the Quran... Thank you Allah for your guidance... “Our Lord, let not our hearts deviate after You have guided us and grant us from Yourself mercy" (Surah Ali'Imran 3:8) 

Dream of Swimming With Frogs

 

Trust me, this is one dream I would glad to forget! Frog is certainly not on my top list of beloved things. It is on the top list of my hated things instead. I don't really hate frog actually... It just, seeing them made me squeamish. I don't like their skin... Once I accidentally touch one with my bare hand. It happened maybe when I was 11 years old. I was ready getting to go to school in the morning. I was putting on my shoes but couldn't to put my foot all the way through. my first thought was one of my older sibling was playing trick on me, putting something in my shoes. So, I reached inside my shoes to pull the thing out! And as soon as I realized that it was a frog, I screamed and threw my shoe away! The frog came out and hopped away, probably shocked! 

Okay, let's get back to my dream. Trust me, it was an unpleasant one. I was swimming (mind you, that I couldn't swim in real life) in this beautiful clear water pond with water lilies floating around peacefully. Suddenly, an army (I googled collective term for frogs for first I wrote 'swarm', haha..) of frogs jumped into the pond and started swimming around me. They are not cute at all, not like the character keroppi! One particular frog, the largest one (maybe the size of a chicken) kept following around.. In my dreams, I couldn't get away from them. That's all I can remember.

Knowing me, I googled the interpretation of this dream. So, these are some of the interpretations I found on the net;

• Having a dream of seeing many frogs is a promising sign, especially for those who are in love. It means success and fulfillment in your personal life. This could also symbolize being in the company of wonderful, trusted and loving friends or getting the support of your loved ones. In the area of business, it could mean prosperity and outstanding achievements in all your endeavors. (Source: Tell Me My Dream)
• Dream about both “Swimming” and “Frog” is a portent for a loss in your personal identity. There is a situation where you are seeking acceptance and wanting to be a part of. You are overcoming your negative feelings. Your dream is sadly a warning for a lack of communication. You may be inexperienced, nervous or just unable to keep up Source: Dreams'opedia)
• To dream of frogs swimming could mean that you are going through a period of change or embarking on a transition. Swimming frogs can signal uncertainty in life as they try to navigate a new environment or situation. However, the dream can also carry a positive message and symbolize adaptability, the ability to thrive in an unfamiliar environment. (Source: Tabir.App)
• Dream about frogs can be interpreted as messages from our subconscious that relate to facts or situations from our waking lives. Frogs are generally seen at the opposite end of the cute scale than puppies, indeed not too far away from spiders. As such, many people are repulsed by their large bulging eyes and cold moist skin. However, in the esoteric world of dream interpretation, these little creatures are seen in a positive light – usually related to prosperity, good news, financial success, and perhaps most importantly happiness (Source: Dreams Limited)
• Dream of swimming frogs symbolises that if it is a trip or an appetizing plan, organize it with tranquility and without oppression. The more you think about it, the less clear you will see. You need to take responsibility and control of your own life. Someone will give you a hand so that you can successfully conclude a project. If you don’t have time, rework your priorities, but don’t fail to give him what he asks (Source: World O’ Dreams)

Let me clarify something here, yes i love to know the meaning behind my dreams. It is mostly just for fun. I never did totally believe in them even though I couldn't deny that sometimes it is related to my situation. As a Muslim, I believe in making my own path/living my life without relying on this sort of things. I believe in qadha' and qadar.  That's all for today, until later...Tschuss...

Oh My Goodness!

OMG! It's been more than a year I haven't write anything here! Almost every single year, I vow to myself that I'll write at least an entry a month and every single year I broke the vow! There are actually a lot of things that I want to share here. Saying I don't have enough time would be a lie, since I do actually have a lot of free times. But I think, what hinder me from updating is I rarely opened my laptop lately. Before this, I usually open my laptop since I had to do a lot of university things (assignments, quizzes etc). Since, I am only left with my final thesis, I am ashamed to admit, I rarely did anything.

What is the progress of my thesis, you ask? Nada... Null... Zilch.... No progress whatsoever, huhu... It's like I'm stuck in this procrastination mode and couldn't get myself out. I would say, okay, I'l start next month and this has keep on going for more than three years! Honestly, if you ask me, I would love to give up and stop for good. But thinking back on all those efforts, money and time, I try to motivate myself to finish since I am only left with this final hurdle.

I want to blame this on the pandemic. But, by looking deep within myself, I know that I have only myself to blame. I know I just need to start and everything will eventually fall into place. I don't know where to start. I'm stuck on methodology, I'm stuck on theory, I'm stuck with my unanalyzed data. But STILL I know that these are all excuses... I really need to start and stop making these excuses... So, ya Allah, please give me strength and guidance for me to finish my master... Thank you, Allah... I think this is all for now... And please, I you read this, please made dua for me... Thank you, may Allah repay your kindness...