Can't sleep, huhu..

my confession

remember when we were young, we sometimes have some imaginary friends to keep us company when we were lonely? or we pretended that our dolls and stuff toys are truly alive, so that we had conversations with them. well, in my adult life, in my current life i still do have imaginary friends and all of the are my imaginary husbands and boyfriends. i don't have to imagine any friends for i have a lot of them in  real life. you'll only imagine things that you couldn't have in real life, right?

as pathetic as it sound, i do prefer married to fictional characters either characters from books, tv shows, movies, comics or manga. the reason? these husbands act due to my imaginations. i control them and by controlling them, i could control the feelings i have. i would never be sad, heartbroken or anything. i couldn't control how people act in real life and even if i could, i wouldn't. it's a little bit cruel to control people in real life for they have the right to think and act how they want.

but controlling fictional characters is a good way to train your brain, hehe.. you had the opportunity to explore the creative side of yourself. your imaginations may not be good enough to be published into books or movies, but still they are yours and you need to think to create them. here are some of my fictional husbands. some of them, you may recognize from my previous entry, love life.

• hajime kindaichi from the manga 'case file of young kindaichi.' of course here, i'm miyuki nanase
• kengo akechi, also from case file of young kindaichi
• shinichi kudo from the manga 'case closed.' here i assumed the role of ran mouri
• hatake kakashi from naruto
• dr reid from criminal minds
• dr sweet from bones
• tony from ncis
• sirius black from 'harry potter' by j.k. rowling
• anthony bridgerton from 'the viscount who loved me' by julia quinn (i'm kate here)
• raine montgomery from 'velvet song' by jude deveraux (i'm alyx)
• marcus, lord westcliff from 'it happened one autumn' by lisa kleypas (i'm lillian)
• joseph, marquess of attingsborough from 'simply perfect' by mary balogh (i'm claudia)
• phillip quinn from 'inner harbour' by nora roberts (i'm sybill)

ps: just got myself heartbroken in real life by a man obviously! so, prefer to stay on the safe side on the emotion road right now by closing back my heart to reality and opening it wide for imaginary..

alhamdulillah...

smiling us

last friday, both my sister and i received certificates of excellence from our department, the malaysia immigration department. yes, both of us work in the same department but in different unit. my sister, syazrah in finance while i in passport. we were quite surprised to receive it at the same time. alhamdulillah, it's another  rezeki from Allah to our family...

a lovely walk in the park...

 a walk in the park

i'm not an outdoor type of person. i prefer to spend my free time inside rather than outside. my choice of activities during my leisure time include reading, sleeping, watching tv, surfing the net and napping again. if i'm out, believe me that you would only find me in another type of buildings usually shopping malls either shopping, window shopping, movies, bowling and so on.

but, being an indoor type of person doesn't mean that i hate outdoor activities. i love them as long as they fit into my indoor activities well. i love to take a stroll in the park once in a while. i usually walk, seldom jog or run. and sometimes by taking a stroll, help me ease my mind a little, admiring Allah works in nature. today, i took one of the rare stroll. i wore skirts and sandals and the results can be seen in the above picture, huhu...

happy chinese new year 2013

GONG XI FA CAI

solitude

salam, i just want to put into words the thoughts that i have in my mind right now. maybe by seeing in written form, i could reconsider it. what i've been thinking this last few minutes is I NEED TO TAKE A BREAK, HOLIDAY, ALONE, JUST ME MYSELF AND I after i submitted my final project, maybe in june. i made this plan so it can motivate me to finish my project on time. and just to give myself some solitary time. yup, i did mentioned before that i want to save money and perform umrah (alone, yes) and that plan is still on.

i know most of you could relate to what i'm writing right now. sometimes, you just want to be alone. no families, no friends, no colleagues, no acquaintances, just you meeting some strangers that probably become your new family or friend. have you ever felt that when you are alone in a new place, with no one around knew you, you could be finally be yourself. no more masking yourself.

just admit it, we all wear masks when dealing with everyday life. you wear this mask with family, you wear that mask for friend, you wear different masks everytime. i think Allah is the only one that knows you with and without the multiple masks. sometimes, you even wear mask for yourself because sometimes you do wonder who you really are right? or maybe it just me... ok, that's all i want to express right now. until fingers met keyboards again, ciao!

Thought of The Day