happy birthday to me!!!

alhamdulilah, Allah gives me another year to live on this earth. i celebrated my birthday by getting annoyed at KLIA2's myNEWS.com. after coming back from our trip to hong kong and macau, i suddenly wanted to drink milk so much. it was 15 minutes past 12 and the only store that was opened is myNEWS.com. i took a 500ml goodday fresh milk and the price tag is RM5.70. but when i paid, the price hiked to RM7.10. i told the worker, and he rudely told me he couldn't do anything about it. i already reported this to myNEWS.com and eAduan KPDNKK.

spot the diffrent!

but later that day was all sunshine and rainbow for me. first, i celebrated my birthday with aisyah, rafiz and ateng and sushi zanmai, d'pulze, putrajaya. this is the first time, i ate ate sushi zanmai and i was really interested in the way it send your order. there is a track where this cute 'train' with your order on top that send your order. it will stop at the table and asking you to take you food. once done. you have to press this blinking button for it to go back to its starting point. btw, these beautiful meals were paid by the evergenerous, mr. rafiz.

salmon maki and salmon nigiri

salmon temaki (yup, i do love salmon)

after that, i went straight to restoran ana ikan bakar petai bangi to celebrate my birthday with family this time. both the company and the food are great! we ate almost everything from seafood to chicken and beef! they sang the birthday song for me and and my sister-in-law, kak ani who celebrated her birthday on the 25th. as usual, the little ones, alif but not syariq since he had a cough blew the candle. syariq really pulled a long face for not be able to blow the candles.

mak su is me and mak long is kak ani

i'm grateful for having a very tight and closed-knit family. no matter how 'crazy' i go, they will always stick by me!

the oreo cream and cookies cake was chosen by syariq

this birthday might be the best and biggest celebration ever! i received a lot of wishes and gifts. i quote back what i said at FB, 'As vain as it sound, those wishes made me feel special, important, appreciated and needed. These feelings are the reason that keep me on going in this life. Once again, thousand of thank you and may Allah bless all of you.❤️  '

from fiza and yati

from kak ala's bunch

from officemates

from (clockwise): abg ijan's bunch, abg ain's bunch, ateng (nice packing. at first i thought he gave me a secret medicine to help with my bipolar since he is a pharmacist, haha..) and the HRC honolulu bear from aisyah and rafiz

ps: i went to a trip to hong kong and macau on 25 - 28 january 2018 with dear aisyah as usual. maybe, i write on this trip first, not laos while it still fresh in my mind, huhu...

Allah replies to Surah Al-Fatihah

sonnet 129

i was born on january 29 . so it be translated to 129 in number form. without the year apparently. so, i googled the number since i was a little bit obsessed by numerology at that time and came upon this sonnet by william shakespeare. The sonnet consists of an unknown narrator having an internal mediation with himself about his sexuality; he fears it and harvests feelings of self-disgust for having such desires. "Omne animal post coitum triste est" is a Latin saying that is often quoted in association to sonnet 129. The phrase literally translates into "after sex, every animal is sad."(Wikipedia, 2017)

i first knew shakespeare when i was 11 years old. my house was equipped with a mini library, well not so mini since both of my parents and teachers and they really encouraged us (my siblings and i) to read by buying and providing us the right and suitable reading materials. so, we had access to various reading materials growing up. i was out of children's reading material so i try picking up shakespeare's book. to be fair they were in comic and simplified form, but i fall in love anyway. growing up, i read the original version and falling deeper in love.

honestly, i prefer the comedy and i dislike the tragedy. amongst my favourite are the taming of the shrew (kate reminds me of me, haha..), twelfth night, much ado about nothing and midsummer night dream. if i have to choose the tragedy, hamlet and macbeth. frankly speaking, i'm not a hardcore fan of shakepeare. by hardcore, i mean i couldn't quote shakespeare without googling. the only quote i remember is to be or not to be! fogive me, dear all shakespeare devotees if i misquoting. 

M E , M Y S E L F & I ! ! !

Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.~Dr Seuss~

continuation to M.A.D. WeeK...

remember my entry, M.A.D. Week?! here's the continuation. i was only out for two days before being sent back to rehabilitation on 12 december 2017. i was only out for good on 26 december 2017. even than i was on probation for one whole week. it was called home leave. my family could bring me back to rehab when they felt i should. on that one week probation, i wasn't allowed to post anything on social media thus the silence until a couple of days ago.

here, i was diagnosed as manic same in 2008. by to my own opinion, my manic episode now is less severe than my manic in 2008. but, what i HATE the most being manic this time is being hospitalized. to tell the truth, there were nothing much to do at the ward. luckily, my family brough me books and most important of all, the holy Quran.

the conversations are limited. there were around five people in the ward but their conditions doesn't allow good conversation. i hope the quality of psychiatric wards in malaysia will be upgraded! more activities should being introduced and i praised the presence of an occupational therapist. i don't know about the condition of other wards but the one in kajang are in dire need of improvement. still, i want to thank you all the staffs for doing a good job. honestly, a couple of you could use an personlity upgrade as well...  (~_^)

Characteristics of a Child Three Years ~ William Wordsworth

Loving she is, and tractable, though wild;

And Innocence hath privilege in her

To dignify arc looks and laughing eyes;

And feats of cunning; and the pretty round

Of trespasses, affected to provoke

Mock-chastisement and partnership in play.

And, as a faggot sparkles on the hearth,

Not less if unattended and alone

Than when both young and old sit gathered round

And take delight in its activity;

Even so this happy Creature of herself

Is all sufficient, solitude to her

Is blithe society, who fills the air

With gladness and involuntarily songs.

Light are her sallies as the tripping fawn's

Forth-startled from the fern where she lay couched;

Unthought-of, unexpected, as the stir

Of the soft breeze ruilling the meadow-flowers,

Or from before it chasing wantonly

The many-coloured images imprest

Upon the bosom of a placid lake.

William Wordsworth

(1770 - 1850)

B.I.T.C.H.

yes, we are always taught to be honest and don't lie. a simple rule but very hard to practice. like the above dialogues from the movie mona lisa smile starring julia roberts as a free-thinking art professor teaches conservative 1950s Wellesley girls to question their traditional social roles (IMDb). watching this movie really motivates me to become a better woman, well at that time i'm still considering myself as teenager. but like i mentioned before, speaking the truth is much harder than you think.

me, for example has been labelled a BITCH for being too frank sometimes. a few people bravely tell me to the face but others, mostly called me BITCH behind my back which i didn't care much. the reason, they are allowed to badmouthing about me behind my back for i did the same. i admitted i talked things i disapproved about person which called mengumpat in Malay. but i usually told them to their face first, huhu..

in life, the golden rule is very simple: treat people the way you want to be treated. unfortunately, people usually forget about this. they rarely put themselves in others position. they failed in empathy. i know it's not easy to understand people for every people is unique in their own way. but, please at least made an effort and tried. sometimes telling the truth is the best even if it might hurt than shielding them with false lies and hope.

for example, i rather the doctor told me i have only three weeks to live because of an untreatable  illness than telling me i could fight it and cure could be found soon. at least the truth will let me prepared for death and maybe live my life to the fullest without any regrets than hoping for something impossible. well, that's all for my entry this time. again, i wrote just because i felt to. i'm not looking for followers or audiences. i wrote so that it could at least help me remember some of good and bad memories/episodes in my life.

important dates 2017